Analysis of Change in Graphic Organizers: Subject F

               Subject F showed significant change in organization and idea development in her 

      graphic organizers from the initial assessment to the final assessment. In her initial 

      assessment Subject F attempted to create a basic list of subconcepts prior to writing the 

      essay itself. These subconcepts, however, did not support the central idea. The prompt 

      asked students to explore the question, “What motivates people to change?” In response to 

      this question Subject F simply listed at the top of her paper, “Change is uncomfortable, 

      change can rise up fear in us, and change demands inner strength.

            For Writing Task 1 Subject F created a rough graphic organizer that illustrated the 

      hierarchical nature of the essay’s ideas and developed these ideas with some specific 

      supporting details. The final draft of the graphic organizer added information and another 

      paragraph and was more detailed. The thesis for Writing Task 1 was, “Overuse of antibiotics 

      and steroid, poor diet and stress are the main culprits of causing yeast to grow out of 

      control.” The subconcepts were then arranged in a web off of the central thesis.  Beneath 

      each subconcept was an indented list of supporting details. For example, “American diet, 

      sugar, refined grains, lack of pure water cause stress on the body.” It was evident from 

      analysis of both the rough draft and the final draft of the graphic organizers for Writing 

      Task 1 that Subject F understood and had begun to utilize the planning process. 

      The graphic organizers for Writing Task 2 also represent Subject Fs’ clearer 

comprehension of the hierarchical nature of ideas in the writing process. In her rough 

graphic organizer for Writing Task 2, Subject F selected a topic that was fairly broad and 

that required a long essay. After receiving teacher feedback on her rough organizer, she 

narrowed her thesis to “the kind of behavior that emerges from me and my family differs 

when viewing baseball, tennis, as well as hockey.” Each of the subconcepts stemmed from 

the thesis and included bulleted details to support the ideas. For example, under the 

subconcept for “Behavior at a baseball game,” Subject F wrote “Husband: serious business, 

arrives early, plaque reading, keeps stats,” and “Me: sit, people watch, popcorn, fun.” Then 

“illustration of husband leading his family” and “catching a baseball.” Each subconcept 

supported the thesis and included a list of supporting details.

              Again in Writing Task 3, Subject F created strong graphic organizers. In the rough draft, 

      as in that of Writing Task 2, the thesis contained too much information that made writing a 

      relatively short essay challenging. After receiving teacher feedback, the thesis became more 

      manageable and focused. Writing Task 3 was a critical review and Subject F chose to write 

      about Midnight in Paris. Her final thesis was, “Midnight in Paris is a clean, fun, romantic 

      comedy superbly written and directed by Woody Allen and filled with wonderful acting and 

      rich characters.” Each proponent or subconcept focused on an aspect of the film such as the 

      director, the acting and characters the actors play, and the plot. Specific details supported 

      the subconcepts. 

                For her final assessment, Subject F created a graphic organizer that demonstrated a 

      clear understanding of organization and idea development. The thesis was focused and 

      appropriate for a shorter essay and the subconcepts were clear and contained supporting 

      detail.