Analysis of Change in Graphic Organizers: Subject C

      Subject C showed significant change in organization and idea development in her 

graphic organizers yet continued to struggle with including specific details within the 

subconcept categories. For the initial assessment, Subject C did not create a graphic 

organizer. For Writing Task 1, Subject C organized her information well, showing a clear 

relationship visually between the main concepts and the subconcepts. However, two of the 

subconcepts were specific enough to be supporting details rather than ideas. Note in the 

image below that Subject C used the subconcepts “went back to school for bachelor’s” and 

“came to the U.S. in 2008” to support the thesis that her mother is special.

      After receiving teacher feedback on the rough graphic organizer for Writing Task 1, 

Subject C revised it and expanded her subconcepts so they became broader ideas rather 

than supporting details. She used “the sacrifices she made for us” and “what I’ve learned 

from her” instead. However, the details supporting these subconcepts still needed 

development because, in some cases, they were not specific but rather behave as further 

explanation of the subconcept. For example, under the more clearly defined thesis “what 

I’ve learned from her [mother],” Subject C wrote, “appreciate the people who matter in my 

life, be simple honest and respectful no matter where I go,” and be thankful for what I 

have.” These ideas were broad and could have been subconcepts.

               For Writing Task 2, Subject C developed a thesis around the idea that having a friend 

      with “too much in common causes problems.” The subconcepts for the rough draft worked 

      well in relationship to the thesis. However the organizer contained no specific supporting 

      details. 

              In the final draft of the graphic organizer for Writing Task 2, Subject C modified her 

       subconcepts, showing evidence of more critical thinking about the thesis and related ideas. 

       Also, the final draft contained one more subconcept than the rough draft. Again though, 

       Subject C, for the most part, did not include more specific supporting details to support her 

       subconcepts. Instead, her ideas remained broad and acted more as further explanation of 

       the subconcepts. For example, under the subconcept “both lack the ability to express” 

       Subject C wrote, “keep important feelings to ourselves” and “afraid of expressing.” These 

      ideas were restatements rather than supporting details.

               The assignment for Writing Task 3 was to write a critical review, and Subject C 

      evaluated the movie Avatar. In the rough graphic organizer, Subject C included only two   

      subconcepts to support her thesis statement that “despite its stereotypical and predictable 

      plot, Avatar and its tech power takes your imagination to a world of fantasy.” In her first 

      subconcept, she stated that the “screenplay gets predictable, but the animation keeps you 

      watching.” This subconcept includes two broad ideas more appropriate for at least two 

      separate paragraphs. In her second subconcept Subject C stated that, “Avatar can be 

      compared to Dances with Wolves.” This subconcept did not go far enough to present a clear 

      idea though it implied that the plot was not unique. The supporting details for each of these 

      two subconcepts were, for the most part, also broad and redundant, restating ideas in the 

      subconcepts themselves.

                In the final draft of the graphic organizer for Writing Task 3, however, Subject C 

      demonstrated a clearer understanding of organization and idea development. The thesis 

      remained basically the same, but three clear subconcepts were supported by some more 

      specific details that showed that Subject C understood the hierarchical nature of the ideas in 

      her graphic organizer. For example, under the subconcept of “plot” for the first subconcept 

      on her graphic organizer, Subject C listed two specific bulleted points to support the idea 

      that critics compare the plot of Avatar to Dances with Wolves. Still, while Subject C seemed 

      to more clearly understand the basic concept of a central idea supported by sub-ideas, she 

      was still struggling with citing specific details.

             For her final assessment, Subject C created a graphic organizer that demonstrated an 

      understanding of the hierarchical nature of ideas in the essay, although she included very 

      few specific supporting details for the subconcepts she listed on the organizer. Still, ideas 

      were organized visually to represent the ideas in the final essay.