Analysis of Change in Graphic Organizers: Subject B

                  Subject B did not create a graphic organizer in the final assessment and thus did not 

       demonstrate change in organization or idea development in these two assessments. 

       However, in each of the writing tasks throughout the study, Subject B showed significant 

       change as she moved from the rough drafts of her graphic organizers to the final drafts, 

       especially for Writing Tasks 1 and 3. Teacher feedback and the drafting process enhanced 

       comprehension of organization and idea development in graphic organizers. Also, in 

       comparison to the graphic organizer created for her initial assessment, graphic organizers 

       for each of the three writing tasks became more detail-oriented and worked to show more 

       clearly the central idea and the relationships between subconcepts and the central idea. The 

       essential information in the graphic organizers for the writing tasks also illustrated clearer 

       more logical arrangement.

             By the end of the study, Subject B demonstrated that teacher feedback and the drafting 

       and revision process were effective in helping her to become more organized and to 

       develop ideas more thoroughly. However, she had not yet become able to independently 

       utilize the planning and prewriting strategies from her course work and needed continued 

       emphasis on these.

    In her initial assessment, Subject B created a list of subconcepts for her thesis idea and 

listed more specific supporting details beside these subconcepts. This initial graphic 

organizer showed the relationship between the main concept and the subconcepts and 

contained some essential information. However, the central idea was broad and undefined, 

and the subconcepts could have used more development through the citation of specific 

supporting details. For example, in response to the prompt asking students to explain 

what it is that motivates people to change, Subject B simply stated as her central idea, 

“motivates to change.” Underneath this phrase were the words “death” and then “wake up 

call/look at your life.” This worked as a subconcept to support the idea that experiencing a 

death can motivate people to change. If two or three details supporting this subconcept 

were listed beneath the word “death,” the graphic organizer would have been more 

complete. Also, after this initial idea at the top of the list, the other subconcepts were not 

complete ideas and did not have supporting information to help clarify them. For instance, 

“personality” was on the list but it was unclear how “personality” might motivate someone 

to change.  Also, the only other idea beside the word “personality” was “looks.” It is unclear 

what this might mean in relation to “personality.” Each of the items on the list of 

subconcepts should have been in phrase format to help with clarity.

                After receiving written feedback and conferencing with the teacher about the rough 

      graphic organizer, Subject B made revisions that clarified the ideas and their relationships to 

      one another. The central idea was written at the top of the page instead of the writing 

      prompt and, while in some instances the supporting details could have still been more 

      specific, in the final organizer most of them were more focused. Also, the central idea and 

      subconcepts were clearer and more succinct. For example, under the subconcept of 

     “strength,” Subject B created another category for “working” and then placed specific details 

     such as the fact that her mother works “behind the bar double hours” and “Home to vacuum, 

     clean house, and place meals on the table.”

              Again, for Writing Task 2 Subject B created a graphic organizer more thorough than that 

      of her initial assessment. This time, however, it was in the form of an outline. The thesis 

      statement or central idea in this organizer was very clear. She states, “Gender should not 

      create restrictions on military jobs.” The subconcepts did not clearly support the thesis but 

      worked more as background information for the central idea. They also were such broad 

      topics as to be prohibitive for a college writer to cover effectively. For example, the first 

      subconcept was “History of women in the armed forces” and the second was “What is the 

      policy now?” I suggested that she boil the ideas down further in the final organizer to 

      illuminate the key ideas that clearly support the central idea. 

                In her final graphic organizer for Writing Task 2, Subject B narrowed her ideas and created an organizer that 

      is more visual. She did still have trouble with specific details for her subconcept “The old 

     policy” using broad explanatory ideas such as “creates restrictions on women,” “creates 

     stereotypes men are faster, better, stronger,” and “women not allowed to achieve higher 

     ranking.” However the other subconcepts did include more specific supporting details. For 

     example, for the subconcept “Angelina Jimenez,” Subject B listed details about Jimenez and 

     her unit. Under the subconcept “New policy,” she wrote “14000 assignments to women that 

     had previously been unavailable.”

         The final graphic organizer for Writing Task 2 showed that Subject B was wrestling with a 

     difficult topic and the concepts of organization and idea development. However, it also 

     showed growth in comprehension. 

      For Writing Task 3, Subject B also created an outline for her movie review rather than a 

graphic organizer. However, the outline contained somewhat more focused subconcepts. 

For this task Subject B reviewed the movie The Blind Side, stating that “this movie is a 

must-see family film.” Her first body paragraph subconcept was “Summary” and more 

specific details support this than in previous organizers. The next body paragraph heading 

on the rough graphic organizer was “Criticism.” This was eliminated altogether on the final 

draft of the graphic organizer. The supporting details were not so much details as further 

explanation of the criticisms that could be made against the film. 

              The final graphic organizer of Subject B’s movie review refined the central idea, 

      subconcepts, and supporting details further, and showed a clearer relationship between the 

      main idea and the supporting ideas and details. For example, under the subconcept 

      “Important messages learned for families” she listed “role models-Michael used his 

      resources around him: family, coaches, teachers and community to become successful.” 

      These details supported the subconcept and helped develop it.

                 This third set of organizers showed progress in comprehension of the prewriting and 

      planning process because the ideas were more clearly defined. However, Subject B was still 

      in need of teacher scaffolding at the end of this study and was not yet practicing prewriting 

      and planning strategies at a fully independent level.